Three Crucial Components of Family Discipleship
The pregnancy test says positive. You receive a phone call from an adoption agency declaring the news that you’ve been selected by a birth parent. You’re overwhelmed with joy and excited about what this means—you’re about to be a parent. You begin envisioning your little one in your arms and the many memories you hope to make with them.
But immediately following the excitement, you’re also sobered by the gravity that you’re about to be a parent—feeling the weight and responsibility to raise and teach this child. You and your spouse begin having more conversations about the type of parents you want to be. How will you raise them? What instruction will you impart? What example will you set?
God has given us, as parents, the privilege and responsibility to raise our children in the fear of Christ (Eph. 6:4)—to disciple them in the truth of God’s word. Family discipleship is when parents put forth intentional effort, by example and instruction, to raise their children to know, love, and obey the Lord Jesus in every area of their lives. This isn’t formulaic. It doesn’t automatically manufacture our children into Christ followers. Nonetheless, it’s a vital component of parenting since through it, we labor for the salvation of our children and simultaneously train them in fear of the Lord. Though it’s not a promise, there is comfort and hope in the principle found in Proverbs 22:6, that if you “train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” So as we strive to deliberately disciple our children, may we consider three crucial components of this good work—the foundation, the location, and the direction.
Foundation – God’s Word
The three little pigs taught us that a good house is built with the right resources. To build something well, we certainly need the right materials—for without them the project won’t endure. We also need a strong foundation, for it upholds what is built and strengthens its durability. The right resources built on a weak foundation will inevitably lead to a disaster. Jesus teaches that a wise man builds his house on the rock, and that foundation is His Word (Matt. 7:24-27).
The strongest foundation for parenting is God’s Word. The truths are eternal, unshakeable, and will not return void (Isa. 55:11). Through His Word He has revealed everything that pertains to life and godliness (2 Pet. 1:3). As parents we’re to pass these truths on to our children (Deut. 6:4-9, Ps. 78:5-8). In order for God’s word to be the foundation of our parenting we must remain in His Word and apply it—instruct our children with it and explain it. May what we do and the instructions we give be rooted in God’s word. Any other foundation and our parenting will crumble like a house of cards.
Location – Home
A greenhouse is a glass building where gardeners grow plants. It stabilizes an environment for vegetables to grow—the right temperature and right amount of sunlight; and protects them from what will destroy—freezing temperatures, animals, and insects.
In the same way, the home is the greenhouse for family discipleship. It’s the primary location where biblical teaching should be given to children—where parents are constantly planting and watering gospel seeds (Deut. 6:5-9; Mark 4). It’s the place where spiritual conversations are to be had—whether over the dinner table, in the backyard, the living room or our children’s bedrooms. The home is where we protect our children from the lies this world will try to teach them by giving them a biblical worldview. It’s also the primary place where children witness how their parents’ faith impacts every area of their lives—faithfulness to Christ, repentance of sins, consistent Scripture readings, hospitality and love for others.
It’s in the home where children are taught their ABC’s and 123’s. But may it also be the setting where children are first introduced to Jesus by their parents—where little ears first hear the sweet news that He is God in human flesh; in love He died for sins, resurrected from the grave, and saves all who trust in Him. May it be where they first hear about Jesus’ bride—the church, the importance of the gathering, and how their parents are members of His family through faith (Heb. 10:24-25, Mark 3:33-35). May it be where they learn of God’s character—that He is holy and just, loving and compassionate. May it be where God’s word is read and explained regularly, where sweet songs are sung and prayers are uttered.
Direction – Christlikeness
In boy scouts, young boys can learn their cardinal directions which will help them navigate their journey and keep them from getting lost. Similarly, there’s always direction in parenting. A good parent prepares their children for life outside the home because one day their children will be on their own. Proverbs 22:6 assumes that parents know the way in which their children should go. We want the direction of family discipleship to be in the ways of the Lord because this is God’s world and life is best lived according to His ways.
The book of Proverbs teaches us how to navigate all of life in accordance with godly wisdom (Prov. 1:1-9). As parents we want to be good guides through life—directing our children in the way of God’s Word in every area of life. We can’t live our children’s lives for them, but we can direct and guide them towards having the mind of Christ and submitting to his Lordship (Phil. 2:5, Luke 9:23-24). We want to be the compass that points them to Christ and His ways—hoping for Him to be their north star. Family discipleship doesn’t have to be faultless, just faithful—for it’s not about perfection, but direction.
As we disciple our children, may we intentionally steward our home to be the place where we model Christ and introduce our children to Him, using His word as the foundation of what we do, as we point them to the only One who truly gives life.
