Don’t Despise Small Beginnings

As a parent of three young children, I’m all too familiar with potty training. As many can attest, the first days of training it can seem as if more pee is on the floor, the wall, and the child, than in the potty. The start of this training is often so overwhelming, exhausting, and discouraging. You wonder, will they ever get it? However, we persevere in this diligent training process because we believe the end result is worth it…no more diapers! 

When starting a new discipline or skill how easy is it to expect to start out as an all-star and get frustrated when we’re actually rookies. We expect to play the piano gracefully upon our first practice. We think we will hit the golf ball to the farthest zone in our first swing at Top Golf. Or in my wife and I’s experience, learning how to record a podcast can’t be all that hard right?! Despite being unrealistic, more often than not, this is our mentality. 

As parents, how often do we also have the same perspective for our children? We think instructing them in the ways of the Lord will be easy like a Sunday morning, but realize we’ve been expecting the ideal, not the real. We try to help them memorize John 3:16—they learn the first portion, recite it twice then say, “all done.” We ask for another attempt at it and they persistently say, “no!” We begin reading the storybook Bible and our children interrupt us as they shout, “I’m bored!” In excitement, we introduce a new family rhythm only to be met with resistance. Such experiences can influence discouragement, and their ongoing recurrence may influence despair. As reality falls woefully short of our expectations, the temptation is to give up. 

As discouraging as it is, we must strive to not despise the day of small beginnings (Zech. 4:10). When we start to intentionally disciple our children, the beginning will be small. It will take everyone some getting used to as it’s a new rhythm. These beginnings are hard and humbling, but they don’t have to be humiliating. We can be humbled by the difficulty, yet hopeful amidst it. As parents, how do we remain faithful and hopeful in this work amidst the disappointment and discouragement? Persevering with faith in this work doesn’t necessarily require that we adjust our practices, but our perspective (2 Cor. 10:5, Rom. 12:2). 

REMEMBER WE’RE AT THE STARTING LINE 

The aspiring marathon runner won’t run 26 miles on their very first workout. If they tried, they’d end up on the stretcher because they don’t have the legs or the lungs. When beginning to intentionally disciple our children, it’s essential that we remember where we’re at—the beginning. The first time we work on a catechism question may be a trainwreck, where they disengage and refuse to continue. But instead of interpreting this as failure, may we keep the right perspective. It’s okay if our children haven't adjusted to the new structure, or haven’t mastered the first catechesis question because it’s the beginning. Everyone has to start somewhere and training takes time, effort and patience. 

If we remember we’re at the start line, we’ll likely anticipate and endure difficulty knowing that growth and progress take time. More often than not, beginnings are really hard. And persevering after a difficult beginning is even harder. But an intentional reminder of where we are in the process may help us dodge despair and endure early struggles. 

EXPECT DIFFICULTY

Many of us likely fell off a bike and scraped our knees a time or two before becoming experts at riding. Because we live in a fallen world, we should expect difficulty in the realm of work (Gen. 3:17-19), and family discipleship is not exempt. Like us, our children are sinners. They’re bent towards rebellion. At times they’ll protest our structure and instructions. They’ll defy our commands and object to our desire for their involvement. We’ll likely find ourselves correcting them about the same things over and over again. There will be nights when we hit the pillow feeling defeated. And those are the moments we especially need to drop our knees in prayer (Heb. 4:16). 

Family discipleship is hard spiritual work. The progress won’t be linear. It may be two steps forward and one step back, but it’ll often feel like one step forward and three steps back. It requires patience and perseverance. As we expect difficulty, may we also anticipate God’s grace and comfort in the midst of it (2 Cor. 1:3-4, 12:9-10). In hardship, God won’t leave us, and in fact He will be there to help us. 

The more we expect this work to be cumbersome, the more prayerful about it we’ll be—praying for our children and our own hearts. As we anticipate the real, it won’t blindside us. Instead we can respond to it with love and patience by the Spirit’s help (Gal. 5:22-23). 

TAKE THE LONG VIEW

Regardless of preseason predictions, a champion isn’t crowned at the start of the season, but at the conclusion of the championship game. A team may have an off-start, but a good coach will tell them to play the long game and continue working to improve. When it comes to family discipleship, we too must take the long view. Therefore, this race must be run with endurance over the span of years. 

This should impact our approach to teaching our children. They won’t grasp gratitude and humility in a month. They won’t learn the entire Bible in a year—nor should we expect them to. The class lasts as long as they’re in our home. As we start small and slow, may we resolve to be patient and persevere with hope. An older pastor once told a younger pastor, “Don’t overestimate what you can do in a year. And don’t underestimate what you can do in 10 years.” It’s good to apply that very principle in family discipleship. 

We train them now, in hopes for results later. Lord willing, if we stay at it, we may see fruit over time. As we keep this perspective, we’ll stay consistent in our rhythms and wait for our children to adjust to the structure. We’ll take our time breaking down the gospel and helping them memorize Scripture. We’ll go at a steady pace because the goal isn’t to swiftly breeze through everything, but for them to learn about God—that they may know him and his Son, Jesus Christ (John 17:3).  

As we disciple our children, Lord willing, overtime, possibly a long time, we’ll be able to build on the foundation we’ve established. But we must persevere in laying that foundation. Though our beginnings may be small, may we not despise them—for God doesn’t. He is pleased as it is done in faith (Heb. 11:6). Therefore, let’s remain steadfast and hopeful in the early days, knowing that in the Lord our labor is not in vain (1 Cor. 15:58).